Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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