I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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