Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
