All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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