i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
