Who wears a wallet chain?!
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
