Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
