I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
