My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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