: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
