she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
