you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
