After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
