I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
