My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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