Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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