I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just had sex bonerless
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
