PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
