Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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