Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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