She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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