I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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