Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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