Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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