Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
