Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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