This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
