he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
