This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
