i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
