Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Do vagina's smell?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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