I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So vagazzling was a success
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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