My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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