wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
