clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize