It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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