she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
