Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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