he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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