Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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