We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
