his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
