Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
