I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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