Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize