Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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