You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
