yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
