her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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