Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
