Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
