We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
