the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
