Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Watching her eat just hurts me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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