There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So much rum. So many feels.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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