Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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