is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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